When life is hectic, who doesn’t dream of pressing pause and replacing the chaos with a little more calm? If only you had the time to make space for it. Instead, you can find yourself struggling through, stuck between a busy schedule and too many to-dos. Why can’t it be easy to make balance your best friend, and live blissfully ever after?
There’s always something more important popping up, or a good excuse to deal with your own needs later. Life doesn’t slow down though, and you continually find yourself more rushed and busier than you’d like.
If any of this resonates, perhaps this is a timely reminder that a slower, more mindful way is possible – and well within your reach.
I want you to remember the part of you that deals with life’s challenges oh-so well.
The version of you that’s calm, collected, and a little less at the mercy of whatever the week throws her way. Let’s call her your calmer side.
You know when your calmer side is in control because things feel different. You’re a more patient driver, kinder to others, you catch yourself smiling at strangers and you remember to reply to texts. If you’re feeling tense and tired right now, you may not have reunited with your calmer side in a while. But rest assured, she’s still there.
"Finding calm through the practice of letting go can be liberating."
When it comes to being more present and peaceful, your calmer side has got your back. With small and steady steps, she’ll confidently take the lead – making life a little or a whole lot calmer for you. What’s better, creating a longer-lasting sense of calm doesn’t involve adding more to your to-do list. In fact, quite the opposite – it’s all about taking things off! Just like a good declutter, finding calm through the practice of letting go can be liberating, and the outcome can be life-changing.
We are moved to let go when we become aware that the things we’re holding on to are holding us back. This doesn’t mean you need to overhaul your circumstances and even relationships overnight in order to get to where you want to be. Simply becoming more aware of what’s going on will make it an awful lot easier to take conscious and compassionate steps forward in a way that works for you.
You can let go one steady step at a time, with kindness and compassion towards yourself, and others. When you take this gentle approach to intentionally creating what you crave, you’ll notice a positive transformation taking place. Every time you release something, your perspective and priorities begin to change, without force and always in your favour. It soon becomes easier to let your calmer side lead the way and feel confident that you’ve got this.
Over the next two weeks, you can create a deeper sense of calm and achieve greater connection to yourself. Let go of the emotions and experiences that are holding you back and make a choice to live a life that feels lighter, less stressful, and actually lights you up. Take my challenge to connect to a calmer, clearer and more confident you, one simple step at a time.
Take the challenge
Day 1: Getting real
We begin this journey by letting go of the desire for things to be different than they actually are. This comes with the practice of acceptance, by letting go of the need to be anyone or anything other than who you are right now. You can release the idea that you need to be better, different, further ahead, or anything else your mind conjures up. Tune into your calm and confident inner knowing that life is unfolding for you perfectly, and in this moment, trust you are who, and where, you are meant to be.
Can you accept what is, in this moment? Can you accept yourself, and those around you, as you are? Can you accept your current reality and where life is at today?
Day 2: Expectations
It can be stressful when things don’t go to plan or you’re certain something will happen and in the end it doesn’t. Expectations get in the way when your sights are set on things playing out a particular way or achieving a particular outcome, and it doesn’t quite materialise as you’d hoped.
Today, notice when you have created these expectations. Observe how letting go leads to less stress and a more flexible and accepting attitude towards things unfolding exactly as they are. You’ll begin to enjoy the spontaneity as you surrender to whatever happens next.
Day 3: Limitations
Do you catch yourself saying, “I couldn’t do that ...” when you’ve never actually tried? When limiting beliefs like this take over, they can halt your progress and block you from becoming your best self.
These long-held beliefs operate deep below the surface and can subconsciously sabotage you by creating unnecessary stress and suffering. Believing that you can’t do or say something will shrink your momentary experiences and the impact you could be making. If you want to stop the struggle, it’s time to let go of these limitations. Today, try turning your attention to what’s possible instead: what are your biggest goals? What do you dream of achieving? What would you do if you let go of the limitations that have been holding you back?
Day 4: Perfection
You don’t have to look very far to find an abundance of filtered fantasies showing what ‘perfection’ looks like. The pressure to strive for, and sustain, such an unattainable level of flawlessness can infiltrate so many aspects of life, from picking the right foundation to picking a new partner, where you live or what you choose to wear. Perfection is a manufactured illusion and life becomes a lot calmer when you are able to let go of the fantasy and work with reality. When you notice yourself striving for the impossible, consider swapping the goal with something more manageable and meaningful to you instead. What’s your version of perfection, and what single, small step can you take today that will bring it closer to becoming tomorrow’s reality?
Day 5: Self-criticism
Closely linked to pursuing perfectionism is the act of self-criticism. This can take hold when the negative voice telling you that you aren’t good enough or smart enough or you don’t belong is playing loudly, on repeat.
By paying attention to these thoughts, you can choose whether to listen, or change the channel. Switching off the self-criticism leaves room for a lot more self-compassion. By treating yourself more kindly, you’ll notice your ability to care for yourself, and those around you, increases.
What would change if you responded to yourself in the same way you do for a close friend when they are struggling? What advice would you give to them if they were in your shoes?
Day 6: Obligations
We all follow certain societal obligations such as abiding by the law. Beyond this, there are many more obligations that you may be bound to – be they moral, religious or something you put upon yourself as an ‘I should.’ “I should exercise more, return the favour, be a better lover, always be the life and soul of the party, never let anyone down, champion the cause.” Adding this kind of pressure to your plate, or feeling constantly indebted to others, can weigh you down
and thwart your sense of calm.
Notice today when you feel you ‘should’ do or be something, and consciously question whether the obligation makes you happy. Does fulfilling it, fulfil you?
Day 7: Cravings
Sometimes it’s easier to eat on the go than to take the time to prepare your food. Yet regularly skipping meals, choosing to eat out or relying on quick and easy convenience foods can leave you constantly craving this kind of diet. Convenience foods are the least nutritious choice of all as they are almost always packed with plenty of preservatives, sugar, salt and fat. This will impact your energy levels, mood and overall health.
If you struggle to recall the last healthy home-cooked meal you made, choose to release your reliance and make healthier choices from your next meal onwards. Whatever you’re eating, try bringing your attention to the experience of eating and use all of your senses. In between meals, notice any cravings that arise, and then pass. What can you eat today to nourish yourself, and how does the food you choose impact the way you feel?
Day 8: Interrupting
Connection is the basis of great relationships and part of connecting deeply with others involves sharing who we are and being truly heard. Whenever you’re distracted, distant or multitasking, deeply listening to another person can be challenging. Perhaps your attention dwindles, and your mind wanders away while you’re in conversation, you interrupt their speech with your own point of view, or you are always thinking up what to say next. Noticing how often this happens is a good place to start transforming this habit so you can elevate your listening skills and enjoy richer conversations.
Today, have a conversation with someone where instead of thinking ahead to what you’ll say next or interrupting, you practice being calm, present and giving them the gift of your full attention.
Day 9: Comparison
It can be tricky to stay in your own lane and resist the urge to compare yourself to those around you. When your best friend falls pregnant, a sister gets married, your husband manages to land his dream job and the celebrity you idolise somehow looks even more fabulous; you can feel like you’re failing. Comparison is the thief of joy and comparing the elements of yourself and your life, to your (probably inaccurate) perception of someone else’s will leave you feeling dissatisfied and stressed out.
Letting go of the need to compare yourself to those around you creates the space to consider where you are today, compared to where you were before. Taking stock, can you see how far you’ve come?
Day 10: Overwhelm
An incredibly common block when it comes to creating a greater sense of calm is having too many competing demands on your plate. Time and energy are scarce and your motivation to make change can dwindle. Many commitments that are driven by habit will be subconsciously sabotaging you and hampering your ability to create any sense of balance. When you say yes to taking on more, you’re saying no to you.
Can you make daily life simpler by being more selective about what you take on? Everyone has their limits and knowing when you’re approaching yours will support you to avoid the overwhelm that has followed this point in the past.
Day 11: Resentment
When something tough or terrible happens, the impact can last a lifetime. Learning to let go of negativity from the past and move forwards to a more positive place on your own terms, can be an incredibly powerful choice. By becoming aware of the hold the past has on you, you can release what’s happened and proceed to somewhere happier and healthier instead. You’re likely to feel a lot less anxious and a lot more empowered for doing so.
You can’t change the past, but you can leave it where it belongs. Are you ready to start creating a brighter future for yourself, from today?
Day 12: Clutter
Mental or physical clutter can hold you back and become an overwhelming, unnecessary burden in your life. The idea of letting go of belongings can be difficult, especially if there’s emotional attachment or sentimental value, but once you start sorting you might be surprised at how liberating a declutter can be. As Marie Kondo says, only hold on to that which “sparks joy” and means the most to you, and you’ll soon enjoy the space you’ve created. What could you let go of that no longer sparks joy?
Day 13: Toxicity
There could be someone in your life that doesn’t deserve to be there anymore. If the connection fails to light you up or bring out your best – whether it’s a friendship, romantic relationship or a workplace acquaintance bringing you down and causing you stress and suffering, it’s time to make a change. Know your worth and that you deserve to be treated well.
Release yourself from the toxic situation and negative person gracefully – by actively deciding your time, energy and efforts can be channelled into healthier relationships, you will ultimately feel a lot calmer and happier.
Day 14: Someday
Are you waiting for ‘someday’ to arrive before you do the things that matter to you most? Life is a precious, fragile gift with an unknown expiry date, and it is up to you to make the most of it. With that in mind, it’s time to focus on making today count and courageously seizing the day before you, rather than spending time worrying you haven’t lived the life you wanted yet.
How will you make today count by being spontaneous?
Bring calming scents in your home
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